🎙️ In this heartfelt episode of the Landmark Difference Makers Podcast, we hear the inspiring story of Arnie Bigbee, a retired Mayo Clinic administrator, and his wife Barbara La Valleur, a journalist and advocate. Together, they are navigating the life-changing reality of Arnie’s progressive memory loss while demonstrating what’s possible when we face challenges with acceptance, love, and a commitment to living fully.
Accepting What’s So
For Arnie, the diagnosis of memory loss was an unwanted reality. Yet, instead of withdrawing, he made a conscious decision to embrace the situation with courage and authenticity. “I’m not going to pull the drapes and disappear,” he shares. Arnie’s openness has made him a role model for others, proving that it’s possible to face difficult circumstances while remaining active, connected, and positive.
Barbara reflects on her experience as Arnie’s care partner, highlighting the importance of acceptance over resistance. “It’s okay to be afraid,” she says, “but ignoring it is not a good idea.” Her willingness to take on new responsibilities—whether driving, managing appointments, or learning about memory care—comes from love and a deep sense of partnership.
Living Fully in the Moment
Arnie and Barbara’s story is also about living in the moment and making the most of life, no matter the circumstances. They share the joy of ticking off bucket-list experiences, like a recent first-class vacation to the West Coast. Arnie explains that even though memory loss may take away the ability to recall these moments later, the joy of the experience itself is what matters most: “I enjoy it immensely in the moment.”
Barbara echoes this, sharing how she works to stay present while balancing the emotional and practical challenges of caregiving. Her honesty, humor, and resilience shine through as she describes their day-to-day life, from navigating travel challenges to Arnie’s adventures in cooking.
The Power of Connection
Throughout the conversation, Arnie emphasizes the importance of staying connected to others—whether through church, friendships, or participation in Landmark’s Wisdom programs. He believes that connection and contribution play a vital role in maintaining a sense of purpose and slowing the progression of memory loss. As Barbara proudly shares, Arnie’s authenticity and openness inspire those around him: “He’s making a huge difference when he’s out and about.”
A Lesson for Us All
Arnie and Barbara’s story is a powerful reminder of what’s possible when we approach life’s challenges with courage, humor, and a commitment to love. Their journey demonstrates that acceptance and connection can transform even the most difficult circumstances into an opportunity for growth, contribution, and joy.
When asked how they want to be remembered, Arnie’s response is simple and profound: “He was here—speaking, listening, cheering—as long as he could be.” Barbara adds, “She played full out.”
Their story challenges us all to do the same: to be present, to love fully, and to live our lives—no matter what—with everything we’ve got.
✨ Want to hear Arnie and Barbara’s full story? Listen to the episode now and discover the power of acceptance, connection, and living in the moment.
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